Parent out loud. Host Monique Akanbi is joined by Chelsey Gonzalez, VP Human Resources, Acklen Avenue, SHRM-CP, to discuss how working parents can harmonize their competing priorities and how HR professionals can best support them. This podcast is approved for .5 PDCs toward SHRM-CP and SHRM-SCP recertification. Listen to the complete episode to get your activity ID at the end. ID expires March 1, 2026 Honest HR is the go-to podcast for aspiring and informed HR professionals intent on transforming workplace challenges into golden opportunities. Hosted by Amber Clayton, Monique Akanbi, and Wendy Fong, this podcast brings you insights, trends, and actionable advice through relatable stories from the REAL world of HR. Along with Honest HR, the HR Daily newsletter delivers daily insights, trends, and expert advice, empowering HR professionals to build a productive, engaged workforce and drive organizational success. Subscribe to HR Daily to get the latest episodes, expert insights, and additional resources delivered straight to your inbox: https://shrm.co/voegyz --- Explore SHRM’s all-new flagships. Content curated by experts. Created for you weekly. Each content journey features engaging podcasts, video, articles, and groundbreaking newsletters tailored to meet your unique needs in your organization and career. Learn More: https://shrm.co/coy63r
Parent out loud. Host Monique Akanbi is joined by Chelsey Gonzalez, VP Human Resources, Acklen Avenue, SHRM-CP, to discuss how working parents can harmonize their competing priorities and how HR professionals can best support them.
This podcast is approved for .5 PDCs toward SHRM-CP and SHRM-SCP recertification. Listen to the complete episode to get your activity ID at the end. ID expires March 1, 2026
Honest HR is the go-to podcast for aspiring and informed HR professionals intent on transforming workplace challenges into golden opportunities. Hosted by Amber Clayton, Monique Akanbi, and Wendy Fong, this podcast brings you insights, trends, and actionable advice through relatable stories from the REAL world of HR. Along with Honest HR, the HR Daily newsletter delivers daily insights, trends, and expert advice, empowering HR professionals to build a productive, engaged workforce and drive organizational success.
Subscribe to HR Daily to get the latest episodes, expert insights, and additional resources delivered straight to your inbox: https://shrm.co/voegyz
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Explore SHRM’s all-new flagships. Content curated by experts. Created for you weekly. Each content journey features engaging podcasts, video, articles, and groundbreaking newsletters tailored to meet your unique needs in your organization and career. Learn More: https://shrm.co/coy63r
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Show Intro: Welcome to Honest HR, the podcast for informed and aspiring HR professionals intent on transforming workplace challenges into golden opportunities. Every week we chat with industry experts to bring you insights, trends, and actionable advice. through relatable stories from the real world of HR. Honest HR is a SHRM podcast, and by joining us, you're helping to build a more engaged workforce and drive organizational success.
I'm Wendy Fong. I'm Amber Clayton. And I'm Monique Akanbi. Now, let's get honest.
Monique Akanbi: Welcome to Honest HR. I'm Monique Akanbi, Membership Initiatives Director with SHRM. And today's episode is the topic of working parents in the workplace. Our podcast guest today is Chelsea Gonzalez, VP of Human Resources with Acklen Avenue. Welcome to Honest HR, Chelsea. Thank you so much for having me. To start things off, can you tell us about your professional background and your experience as a working parent?
Chelsey Gonzalez: I actually started my career in teaching. I was a middle school and high school teacher for about five years and transitioned into a career in HR. And I like to tell people that, um, I am very grateful for that educational background because I think it set a solid foundation for the skills that I use now in HR, things like active listening, um, emotional intelligence, like really trying to meet the needs of the person in front of me, because a lot of that is in teaching, right?
How do you meet the needs of your students? And in this case, in HR, how do you meet the needs of your employees and the organization that you lead? And so I transitioned into HR and was a manager of training and development for some time. Um, and love that part of HR. I have a passion for education and all things leadership development.
Um, and over the years built, uh, my career, expanding my scope in HR to benefits, compliance, employee relations, and one of my favorites, employee engagement. Um, I've been a working parent for a little over five years now. I have two children, um, two daughters, one a five year old and a almost three year old.
Um, so I still consider myself very much in the trenches. Um, we're sleeping through the night these days, so that's great. Um, but still the, uh, your daughter's sick, please come pick her up as soon as you can. Uh, messages from daycare. Um, but my, my experience as a working parent has been incredible, very enlightening.
Um, I appreciate so much more the mentors that came before me, a lot of the working mothers that, um, have mentored me throughout my career. I can recognize, you know, how they set that example for all of us that came after and, and how we play our role now to, uh, set the example for other parents that will come, uh, into the workplace later down the road.
Um, I am excited to be here and share some best practices, recommendations, things that other organizations can do to help support working parents. And it's one of my passions, and I'm glad that I get to share this with you.
Monique Akanbi: Thank you so much for that, Chelsea. Um, I am going to ask you a question that, in my opinion, is pretty controversial, um, to me.
Um, and that's balance. Um, just because. For the past, I would say maybe 10 to 15 years, or at least as a working parent, never really believed in balance because balance gave the notion that one item had to suffer over the other, or there, there was some, some form of compromise. But my question to you is how do you personally maintain a balance between work and your familial obligations?
Chelsey Gonzalez: That's a great question. I, uh, would agree with you. I, when I get the question of how do I maintain that work life balance, I, I don't think that I have balance. My week looks very different depending on the workload, depending on, you know, the health of my kids and things outside of work. Um, I think, you know, in order, the way that I do what I do to be a working parent, And to work full time in a position that I'm in, it's two things.
Um, the support of my spouse and my family, I live close to my parents. And so at any given time, when my spouse isn't able to fill in my mom, my sister, my sister in law, uh, it's all hands on deck and I'm fortunate enough to have that village of where we do help support each other as needed. Um, and then the other is, uh, just the flexibility of the workplace.
I have great leaders. Uh, my boss, who is the CEO at Acklin. Um, she is a mom and a grandmother and she's modeled for me what it means to set, uh, some healthy boundaries and how to take time for myself when I need to be there for my children. Um, and then our workplace policies, um, we're very big on, you know, using your calendar, empowering each working parent or employees across the org to set some do not disturb times when needed and to, um, manage our time as, as we need.
And that's been key for me because, you know, the last few years, it's, uh, whether it's school, uh, events, if it's kids sick at home, um, it requires a lot of flexibility and just being able to, uh, Adapt day to day. Um, and so I would say I don't have balance. I, if I'm excelling in one part of my life, there's probably another part of my life that isn't getting the attention it needs.
Um, but the way that I achieve some kind of, um, cadence, being able to move forward is the support of my family and my spouse, so.
Monique Akanbi: There's a term I adopted years ago, uh, when I no longer believed in balance and that was integration, right? There, we could, there was the topic of work life integration, and then, um, there was another term that was coined, which was work life harmony.
Uh, and the ability to be able to integrate or harmonize between one, your personal, Um, obligations and your professional obligations as well. How do you stay present even in those moments?
Chelsey Gonzalez: I, for me, I just make sure that I have time set apart. Um, so for me, like I'm very, uh, vocal with my team as far as like, here's the time when I go pick up my kids, right?
And I'll do what I need to do before then and after, but in that time blocking off that time so that I can just focus on, Hey, checking in with my kids. How did the day go? Getting dinner started. Um, prioritizing these moments of connection, um, versus trying to, you know, be present all day long, but really prioritizing key intentional moments, um, is how I, I do my best at being intentional.
Of course, there's always, you know, things that come up throughout the week where you don't account for it, you don't plan for it. And it, it, it's just the reminder of, uh, if I don't, if I didn't, Meet the Mark today, tomorrow's a new day, right? And if I didn't feel like I connected enough with my family and that day, being intentional about planning for the next day.
And so I like to start my morning early and just think through what are those touch points, the connection time that I have with my kids and Dinner time and bedtime are my non negotiables, um, because, and breakfast drop offs, um, but I, granted, I recognize how, uh, what a privilege it is to be able to do that.
Not all, um, jobs and industries allow for that, that flexibility. And so I'm grateful for this opportunity that I do have to set that intentional time with my, with my family. And I would like to add as well, I appreciate you distinguishing between work life balance and work integration and harmony, because I think so often when we look at what's out there in social media, and you know, it's easy to assume that people have it all together, that working parents do it all, And it sets us up for failure when we don't recognize that it actually doesn't look that way behind the scenes.
And to be, uh, candid and transparent with our audience and let them know that, you know, it's okay that things aren't always perfect. Uh, and in fact, it's in those moments of failure that we're growing and learning as, as human beings. So it's nice.
Monique Akanbi: Well, I'm glad you said that because as you were talking, I was thinking about my own experience as a working parent and also at the height of me just growing my career in human resources.
And I think back, it was very challenging for me. Um, because at the time my kids were younger and oftentimes they were my accountability partners and had to remind me. So even in pickup, car pickup and depending, you know, my kids had different times where they went to school. So when they were in the elementary and middle school phase, two different pickup and drop off times as well.
And so I would take calls even during pickup and drop off rather than. Um, being in that moment and using that as time for us to just be able to connect. And so they would remind me in those times, you're always working, they would make these little comments. So my son, he was, he was, he was really good at this.
He, you're, you know, you are, you're always responding to emails. So you're always on your phone. And that was his way of saying, cut work to the side for this moment and then focus on us, right? Or connect with us. And so to help all HR professionals in our audience really step into the shoes of a working parent, what are some most, what are the most common obstacles working parents face from your expert
Chelsey Gonzalez: perspective?
So I think, you know, we've already touched on this a bit is work life balance. When you think about the workday, right, a traditional 5 job, it doesn't match up well with the school day, whether that's daycare or elementary, middle school, high school, what have you. Um, and so when you're thinking about a working parent showing up on time for work, there's so much that happens beforehand, right?
Getting ready for school, dropping them off in time for working parents. I have kids that are in daycare, depending on their commute, they might be dropping off their kids as early as seven o'clock if their daycare opens in order to make it, uh, to work on time, assuming that they don't have a hybrid or remote schedule.
Um, and then when you're thinking about the end of the workday, right, um, those last minute meetings that are scheduled at 4. 30 or 4. 45 and parents have to be out of the door because end of school, after school programs. end at a certain time or daycare closes at a certain time. And so there's a real risk of burnout for working parents.
Just trying logistically to make it to all of the places for drop off pickup. Um, and then thinking about childcare, accessibility and affordability, right? It's a cost that continues to rise. across the U. S. and, um, for those that are not, uh, close to childcare facilities, right, there are some childcare deserts, as they call them, where there's a long commute or there's limited options in terms of, uh, childcare, so for those who are expecting parents and having to put their children, or having to get on a wait list, You know, some even have said a year in advance just to secure a spot and not know if they're guaranteed if it's, if it'll be ready in time for when they, they need that childcare.
Um, other things like workplace policies. Um, we talked about flexible arrangements, right? If, uh, the job requires them to be in office or if there's A hybrid or flexible remote option. Um, when you're required to be in office full time, again, it's, how do you make yourself available for afterschool events, for, um, picking up your kids in time?
Um, and then two other things I'll mention, um, parental leave, right? Um, for those that are expecting or planning to grow their family, um, when there are not, when there's not a lot of, uh, parental leave provided to either Um, the mother or the father of the, uh, or if they're adopting, um, and considering like, what are the benefits available to them when trying to grow their family?
Um, and then lastly, career progression, right? Um, for working parents, it's the question of, do you want to grow your career and how do you do that while juggling all of the responsibilities of being a parent? And really leaning on, you know, do they have, uh, managers who are empathetic and who are really checking in with them and understand, like, what are their goals and helping them to reach those goals.
Because sometimes what can happen is managers, uh, will make assumptions about working parents and maybe not being as, um, focused on career, right? The, the question of do they really want this? And so the challenge of the perception of how they're viewed by their colleagues or their manager, um, those are some of the challenges that I see that working parents face.
I'm sure there are more, so it's not an exhaustive list.
Monique Akanbi: Yeah, no, and it made me think about maybe a struggle or a challenge that is not often talked about and something that I just want to broach the conversation about and that is guilt of one or the other, right? Suffering from guilt, even if I think back.
I mean, I share, my kids are older now, but even in conversations with them now, they remind me of moments that I missed in their, in their, you know, growing and with them growing up because of my dedication to work. And. For our audience, if someone is experiencing or dealing with that guilt of I really want to grow my career, um, or on the other hand, I really want to be present for my children or a balance or trying to do the two and they're suffering from maybe some kind of like that internal guilt of one suffering for over the other.
What advice would you give our
Chelsey Gonzalez: audience? Oh, that's a great question. I would recommend just spending that time, whenever you're spending your time away from your children, reminding yourself, how does this contribute back to your family, right? Um, in the moment, sometimes you don't have a choice, right? You have to make that meeting, you have to go on that trip, um, because it's part of your responsibility and just reminding yourself, how does this connect back to your values?
Um, I'll share, I recently, I don't have to travel often, just once a quarter. Um, and then this last trip, it was the first time that both my kids, now that they're older, Um, you know, they're much more aware of mom's leaving for a trip and I'm not going to see her physically in front of me. Um, and so when I was getting my, um, almost three year old ready for school before I left for the airport, I said, you know, mommy's going to go to work.
Um, I'll be back tomorrow night. And my daughter said, but mommy, I love you. No, leave me. Don't leave me, you know? And it's so hard in those moments to not feel guilty. Um, but I, at least for myself, I remind myself all the moments that I am there and all the moments of connection that we do have. And in the moments when I feel guilty, reminding myself, what does this connect back to, right?
Um, and you have to have that center or else you can easily spiral into this guilt and it's, you know, lean on your mentors, lean on people that care about you and can remind you of your values of who you are as a person, as a mother, as a parent. Um, I think that's helpful. That's good
Monique Akanbi: advice. It's just kind of reminder or bringing them along the journey or, or connecting what you're doing professionally and how.
that impacts or contributes to your family as well. So that's really great advice to share for our audience. Um, how important is it to, for, to have an employer? And you talked about flexibility and touched a little on having policies that allow flexibility. How important is that for a working parent to have an employer that support?
Their ability to be able to integrate or harmonize or balance whichever their preference is, the two, family and work.
Chelsey Gonzalez: I think it's incredibly important. Um, I think that more and more working parents are being, um, more selective in the jobs that they're taking if they have that ability to do so. And what I mean by selective is looking at the job description and what's implied in the wording, right?
When it's being accessible 24 7, uh, being, the verbiage tells us, you know, how, uh, on the, on call do you need to be often. Um, and so now that if they're more selective, having an employee that says, I'm empowering you to manage your schedule, to do the work, have your focus time, and really measuring results versus how much time you're spending at work is a game changer.
Um, employees want to feel like they are owners of their time. And being able to manage your time with the responsibilities outside of work helps, uh, just, like you said, harmonize these competing priorities. Um, I, I talk often about the invisible load of working parents, right? There's so much happening behind the scenes.
You see an employee sitting there at their, at their desk working or, you know, in the workplace, and there's so much happening underneath the surface, right? Like, I need to call the doctor and schedule this appointment. I need a follow up visit, uh, for myself, uh, I need a schedule, um, who's gonna pick up the kids on this day when I'm out for a work trip.
There's so much happening and so if they are empowered to manage their schedule and they see leadership embody what it looks like to be a working parent in the workplace, it just changes, uh, how they show up to work. Um, again, I have a, I have leaders within our organization that have modeled that for me, although they are not in the same, Stage of Parenthood that I am in right now, just hearing their experiences affirms that it's okay if today I need to just focus on caring for my sick child, I'm empowered to do some focus work after hours, or I can catch up the next day.
Um, and it just changes how I show up for, for myself, for my team and for my family.
Monique Akanbi: It makes me think, um, and I agree with you, it's very important to have supportive employers and also people managers as well. Um, I had a leader that was very in tuned with, Things that were going on in my life, and that was just through relationship building.
And, uh, there was one moment where I was on the phone with her, and I said, well, I have to drop my son off to a wrestling match, and then I'll be back. I have these meetings. And in that moment, she paused and she said, no, cancel those meetings. And it was in the middle of the day. And so she said, cancel the meetings.
I'm like, no, I need to keep these. And she said, no, Monique, cancel the meetings, stay at the wrestling match. And I came up with every excuse. I'm like, it's going to be smelly in there. It's a bunch of teenage boys. And I kept going, I could just get these meetings done. And she was very insistent that I canceled those meetings and stayed present.
And she knew because I needed to be nudged a little to really be present and not kind of suffer from trying to get things done on both ends, right? Getting him to his wrestling match, but then also getting, you know, completing the meetings that I had scheduled. So it's really important to have. Even, uh, you know, organizations or people, managers or leaders that even when you say no, things are okay to push a little more to get you to that place to really refocus and be present in that moment, whether it's for your family or whether it's personally, um, as well, I mean, professionally as well.
We know that there are disparities or even biases as it relates to working mothers and also working fathers, right? Working mothers often get paid less and working fathers sometimes don't have the same benefits in terms of like parental leave. As mothers, how can HR or leaders in general be proactive in preventing these biases or disparities, um, from affecting the workplace?
Chelsey Gonzalez: I would recommend revisiting your policies, looking at the language that's in place, right? Making it general neutral, making the policies accessible, and then training up your managers. Um, because I think that's where we start, it's a starting point, right? If you can make sure that your policies are inclusive, that they account for as many people as possible so that it removes some of that question and uncertainty, it helps empower managers to make better decisions when, um, enforcing those policies and when having conversations with the people that they lead.
Um, I would also say having those conversations with the managers, training them up and recognizing what is their unconscious bias, because oftentimes they don't recognize it's happening, right? Um, you have the mother penalty, you have the fatherhood bonus. Um, there are things like that, that are at play in the workplace.
And often, you know, managers will say, I had no idea, right? I just, I wasn't, and so if you can give them scenarios of how that impacts, uh, people and how that plays out in their career, I think they're much more open to, okay, what do I need to do to make sure I'm, I'm, um, I help to accommodate the team members on my team and showing up for them the way that they need.
Um, I remind managers have regular check ins with your team, right? And that those check ins aren't these, uh, standard questions across the board. Customize those check in questions to make sure you're showing up for that person as they need. And so you might show up for a working parent very differently than you do for someone who doesn't have kids, right?
That conversation might sound different, but recognizing, you know, asking the question, what, what can I stop doing? What should I start doing? And what should I continue doing? Are three great questions to ask your direct reports. Any people that you lead, um, because you're opening up that space for them to share with you.
Here's what's working, right? Here's what could help me be more successful. Um, those are some of the things that come top of mind.
Monique Akanbi: No, I love Start, Stop, Continue. Actually, on a previous podcast, my guest, Tony Moore, we talked about that. He's the one who introduced Start, Stop, Continue to me years ago. And that was something that I did with my team whenever we would have our meeting, our team meeting, and we all kind of went around the room.
And it is a great way just to learn without saying, we're going to survey you all, you know, just as very informal, conversational way to get that information. Uh, we're seeing a lot of, um, organizations mandate returning to the office. Um, so, um, if I'm an HR professional at one of these organizations or one of these companies issuing a return to office mandate, how can I best support working parents in this transition?
Chelsey Gonzalez: That's a great question. Um, I would say, you know, as much of a heads up as you can to give employees enough time to plan and prepare. Um, depending on how long they've been operating remotely or hybrid, they have made decisions about childcare, probably, with that in mind, right? And so when you ask an employee to come back, if they're a working parent, giving them enough time to make the changes that they need, and even offering, you know, uh, slow transitions back to return to office, um, if that means, you know, for X amount of weeks, this is how often you'll come into the office, and by this time we'll be fully back.
It gives them that transition so that they can not only logistically prepare for childcare and how to manage the workload outside of work, um, but also just mentally and emotionally make that transition, right? Because for many working parents, working hybrid, working remote has given them so much more, um, it gives them much more flexibility to manage.
Uh, the responsibilities of being a working parent and managing households. And so when you take that away at just adjusting to commute times that can sometimes be an hour or over an hour long, um, adjusting schedules for both, if an accounting for it might not be a two. Uh, parent household. It could be a single parent household.
And so how do you give them enough time to make the arrangements that they need so that it is a successful transition? Because the last thing you want is to lose employees because of this decision. And so as much flexibility as you can within the scope that you have, uh, so that they, it can be successful.
So giving them a heads up. Um, is there some flexibility in the working hours? Um, or, um, is it fully, you know, 8 to 5, 9 to 5? Um, what have you? Yeah. I
Monique Akanbi: have another question for you as we begin to wrap up this segment. I think I can probably talk to you, um, forever and ever about this topic, especially being a working parent, um, even in this moment.
Um, my son, again, I share my son is 15. So. Although my daughter is 20 and somewhat on her own, not completely on her own, but the 15 year old, um, what are some risks or items that organizations or companies should consider, um, that come with not creating a, an environment or a workplace that is parental friendly?
Chelsey Gonzalez: I think you're. What's at risk is high turnover, specifically for that group of, uh, employees, um, and that's going to cost you in retraining when you hire someone new, having to train someone new for that spot. So it's not just the cost of losing that employee, it's now training up someone new, um, the loss of tenure and that loss of knowledge that goes with that team member, depending on how long they've been with you, um, and then how attractive you are to potential candidates, right?
Um, A lot of, again, candidates are more selective, they're looking at what's on your LinkedIn, what's on your company website, what benefits are you actively promoting to understand, are you truly a parent friendly workplace? And so, um, I think oftentimes when someone comes into the organization, they're, they're going to read between the lines, right?
Whether it's in your policies or whether it's observing how other working parents manage their time, whether it truly is a workplace friendly environment. Um, and so, um, I think you're just, if, if you don't, when we don't create that inclusive workplace for working parents, we're missing out on so much talent.
Um, and it, it's impacting generations to come, right? Because we're always going to have working parents in the workplace. And I think, you know, the quicker we get on board to how do we create inclusive workplaces, not just for working parents, but for everyone. Um, the better our talent pool, the better, um, the work that they do for the organizations.
There's, there's just so much benefits to, to creating inclusive workplaces.
Monique Akanbi: Thank you so much for sharing that and for being our guest today, Chelsea. Is there anything else you'd like to share with our audience before we close out today's Recording.
Chelsey Gonzalez: I, I just a reminder to all working parents parent out loud in the workplace.
It is empowering to other working parents and to other employees who maybe will become parents themselves. When you parent out loud, it gives permission to people to share their experiences. It affirms them and it isn't as lonely. And so as much as you can, and if you're in a people leadership position, when you do this, it sets the example for others when they become leaders themselves, uh, to do the same for their team.
So,
Monique Akanbi: Parent Out Loud. Thank you so much for sharing that. And I love that reminder, Chelsea, of Parenting Out Loud and encouraging other parents to really share their experiences with each other in the workplace. That wraps up today's Honest HR podcast. Thank you so much, Chelsea, for being our guest. And for our audience, we encourage you to subscribe to our podcast on any social media or podcast platform that you use and leave us a review.
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Narrator: This podcast is approved for 0.5 professional development credits, AKA PDCs. toward SHRM CP and SHRM SCP recertification. Enter the following PDC activity ID in your SHRM Activity Portal to log your credit. 26WPVZS. That's 26WPVZS. ID expires on March 1st, 2026.